Dear Me
You came into this world with nothing, and you will leave it with nothing, so it is your duty to give this life your everything. I am writing this letter to you to remind you of this, and to remind you that being in this world comes with both privilege and responsibility, and to remind you that you matter.
Life is a series of ups and downs, lefts and rights, choices and occurrences, people and places and things, all of which pave the destiny written out for us. We are here only as mortal instruments, elements of a bigger picture. Like the miniscule pixels on a screen, we play our role in making the universe the colourful complicated picture that it is. Why then even bother trying to achieve success in the first place, right? How can you leave your mark when you’re just a drop of water in a world full of oceans? Well, that is something we must search for in ourselves, a reason that makes life worth living.
You will come to learn that life is about journeying down unknown avenues. There are days when the only certainty you will have is that uncertainty is right ahead. Then too, you must persist. Lift your chin up, open that beautiful mind and walk head first into whatever life throws at you. Walk bravely through paths where wolves would fear to tread. Eventually you’ll find your place. There’s only so many times Alice can fall down the wrong rabbit hole. And know that wherever your journey takes you, you are not alone.
Your parents are two of the brightest stars. Whenever you feel lost in the stormy seas of life, look up to them and you’ll be rightly guided home. They work tirelessly to earn a living so that you can have a life. But like any stars, they have a finite lifespan, so treasure them. Treasure them as if your life depended on it, because in all honesty, it does.
Your siblings are the most annoying people on this planet and you will constantly feel the urge to slap them silly, but nobody will be at your side quicker in times of need. They’re the first ones with whom you share your clandestine schemes and the last ones who will stay by your bedside when you’re in the hospital. You’ll never admit this to them but they are your best friends. Siblings, I believe, were created to personify the saying, “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.”
The life you have is inexplicably influenced by the company you keep, so choose your friends wisely. Be there for them in both their times of bliss and despair. Loyalty is earned. Listen, laugh, share and love with them and remember that being a good friend sometimes means being firm instead of fun. You will lose many friends and you will make just as many new ones. And as you each branch off into your own magnificent direction, you will learn that the roots of true friendship never wither way, regardless of distance and time.
I wish that I could tell you that everything’s going to be the way it was before, but I’d be blatantly lying. The truth is, nothing’s the same and it never will be. The butterfly can never be a caterpillar again. Years go by. The sun continues to rise and fall. The Earth still spins like a ballerina on her axis. The seasons keep arriving and departing. There is birth and death, moving along in their monotonous cycle. But things change. And people change. And that, my dear friend, is life. Nothing stays static for too long, so if you want to survive, kid, embrace the new. Things don’t always go as planned and sometimes that sucks, but sometimes things happen that we least expect to happen and these things turn out to be the best things that could happen to us.
As you grow older and your body changes, remember that a golden heart is worth more than a platinum face. People should love you for your quirks and for your actions, the things that really make you you. Fill your soul with equal parts of confidence and humility, because nothing is more attractive than those two when they’re present together.
Be proud of your body too. Own the layers of epidermis you have, because honest to God there’s nobody in this world quite like you. Never let any person tell you how your body should look because you were not made to conform to any shape or size. The colour of your skin only adds to your uniqueness, so never let anyone use it to belittle you. Wear your bodily “flaws” with pride because they are your greatest spots of beauty.
We live in a world with so much pain and hate that sometimes I can’t help but feel that maybe darkness isn’t an absence of light, but maybe light is an absence of darkness. I know that you and I both sometimes have malevolent thoughts, thoughts so dark they stare oblivion in the eye. I plead with you to do as I do at times like this: change your perspective. Sometimes you just need to flee from everything, to soar the skies and take in the view from above. Maybe then you’ll realise how truly insignificant some things are.
Your problems matter and are never unimportant. But never let this blind you from seeing the turmoil of others. I’ve taken only a stroll through this world, and already I can tell you just how fortunate you and me are. There are these bags under my eyes from all the sights I’ve had to carry. But I wouldn’t trade them for the world because I now understand how important our choices are.
The world’s always giving choices. Choose a career. Choose a partner. Choose your friends. Choose a house. Choose a car. Choose your clothes. I ask of you to make choices that benefit not you, but the world around you, because those are always the right choices. But I also know that you are only human. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re about to implode. So I’m telling you that sometimes you have to stop choosing everything and everyone else. Sometimes when the world asks you to make a choice, it’s okay to choose you.
When you make a certain choice or act in a particular way, you are responsible for the consequences thereof. You will make mistakes, plenty of them, and that’s okay. But you must take responsibility for your doings. When you look in the mirror, you can’t expect to see someone else’s reflection. Your life is your own. So is your grave.
But your mistakes do not define you. As long as you take the necessary steps to fix them and the initiative to learn from them, your mistakes are nothing more than life lessons that will mold the you of today into a better you tomorrow.
I know that sometimes we wish that at a happy moment, we could just freeze time and live in that moment forever. But I guess that we have to live(and love) through the good and the not-so-good times too. It’s about some sort of balance that I always seem to realise, but can barely ever understand and can never fully accept. But I also know that with time and experience, comes understanding and acceptance. Even Hazel and Gus’s fairytale ended abruptly. There’s always a fault in our stars. But with a good night’s sleep and a little bit of faith, the sunrise always brings a new tomorrow.
Don’t be sad. It’s the greatest tragedy of mankind. Sadness, that is. You will lose the people you love, both to life and death. It will hang like a noose around your neck and you will succumb for a while, because sorrow is inevitable. You will never forget, but you will move on eventually, stronger than ever, a warrior in every way.
Like any warrior, you will have weaknesses, one of which, you will come to realise, is the opposite sex. Girls are a rare species; unpredictable and volatile. But like you, they need regular kindness and care. They were created to be our complementary pieces in this maelstrom of a puzzle, so never treat them without respect. A woman’s place is not above man, but neither is it below him; it is by his side.
Yes, girls are the most beautiful creatures. Ever so often, one of them will consume your every thought and motivate your every behaviour, but please remember that sometimes romance is like wearing a trench coat in mid-December: it looks good but it’s completely unnecessary. When the time is right, you’ll find “the one”. And when you do, you’ll know, because it’ll be perfection in its most imperfect form; pure, unadulterated, irreplaceable love.
As you spread your wings, you will leave yourself exposed to betrayal. As you begin to allow yourself to feel new emotions, you will learn that heartbreak is the most painful wound. Your heart will be shattered into infinitesimal pieces and you might (though I beg you not to) shatter someone else’s heart too. But maybe sometimes things have to break so that you can glue all the pieces back together, because after all, love is art, and art is found not in solid wholes, but in a cluster of tiny elements and pieces put together beautifully.
Some say love is a farce, a flaw, a fatal attraction. Maybe people fake love sometimes, maybe love is sometimes our Achilles heel, maybe sometimes love leads to heartache and disaster. But true love does exist.
You and I were created by a Supreme Being who surely had better ways to spend all eternity than creating puny, fragile man who has a finite lifespan. He created us because He loves us. Don’t ever say that you aren’t loved. He loves you.
I know that your life is the epitome of imperfection. I know that your pain sometimes feels unbearable. But know that He has great plans for His most patient bondsmen, for you. He’s preparing you for something far greater, something everlasting. Maybe you didn’t fully realise this before, but I hope these words bury themselves in every crevice and every cranny and every corner of your soul: He loves you (and He’ll never let you down).
Writing this to you now, I’ve been made to realise something: no matter what I say, regardless of whether I sprawl the words out into perpetuity, I will never be able to tell you about life and you will never be able to understand: life is something you must live to know.
But let me tell you that I am so proud of how far you’ve come. I cannot express how immensely overjoyed I am to know that you’ve grown to acknowledge your own worth. There are over 7 billion people in this soggy tumble dryer but I promise you, you are one of the most blessed. I know that words are your greatest companions and poetry your greatest vice so I’ll leave you with these thoughts:
Life is a complex paradox, filled with metaphors and hyperbolic people and strong imagery and discontinuous rhythm. Life is like a poem. And you’re not the poet, but the beautifully inked words beneath His pen.
Yours etc.
Me
